False Teeth

Yesterday was my axillary disection (aka: get rid of cancerous lymph nodes) surgery.  I spent the morning doing my pre-surgery routine.  Washing all the bedding, mopping the floors in the bedroom and bathroom, wiping everything down with Clorox wipes, making sure all my neccessities (remote, book, phone charger, chocolate covered cherries...) are within arm's reach of the bed.  I wasn't expecting a difficult recovery, but it's better to be prepared.

I was advised to get to the surgery center early since they tend to run ahead of schedule.  They weren't yesterday, so Walter and I got to sit in the pre-op area for quite a while.  The funny thing about that is that everyone going through surgery is staged in the same large room, with curtains dividing them.  I don't even know why HIPPA matters, as you can hear EVERYTHING everyone is saying.  Names, personal ID information, procedures, afflictions, etc.  I heard all kinds of things yesterday.  Popular topics:

Horses.  People like horses and so do nurses and doctors.  There was a lot of horse talk yesterday.

False Teeth.  You can't have surgery with your false teeth in, so the teeth come out and your family member gets to hang on to them.

Bad Jokes.  The older gentlemen seem to like to joke with the nurses and be slightly cantankerous.  Their material is pretty bad.

Crackers and Pudding.  There are big promises of a fountain drink machine with the good ice and all the crackers and pudding you can eat.  It sounds glorious while you're in pre-op and going on 15 hours of no food or drink.

The surgery went well, "textbook" according to the surgeon.  Somewhere between 5-15 nodes were removed.  Pathology will take a few days to go through all the tissue.

I forgot how sucky post-op is.  I hate that feeling.  Disorientation, numbness, tingling, anxiety and nausea.  You can't get comfortable and you just want to get home and roll into bed.  I try and speed up the discharge process and just start getting dressed.  It usually works.  We were out and on our way home in the chilly weather.

Walter has been a great nurse.  It's unfortunate that he's had so much practice, with me as the patient.  He makes sure that we are following all of the instructions and that I'm not doing something I'm not supposed to be doing.  He also stares at me a lot.  I think he feels like concentrated staring is how one effectively observes the patient.  I disagree, but am grateful for a partner that takes such good care of me.

So, now I rest and recover.  Milk my drains, gently stretch and walk, eat good food and stay hydrated.  And wait.  So much waiting.  Wait for the pathology report that will help determine the chemo regime.  Wait for the healing and the release to go back to work.  Wait and watch for side-effects from the nodes being gone.  Waiting is part of it, no way around it.

Thank you to everyone that sent kind words, said a prayer, rubbed some crystals and made countless offers to help us.  We have an amazing village!

Time to get back to bed, where I hope to not have more dreams about riding my horse without my false teeth.

Let's Get this Party Started!

One day back to the office today and then the next party starts tomorrow.

My axillary Disection is tomorrow afternoon.  The surgery is out-patient and shouldn't take too long.  I'll have one drain (always a pleasure), but don't expect anything too traumatic.  To be honest, there doesn't seem to be much to remove.  From what I can feel, there is very little tissue under my arm, so I'm not sure how much trauma I'll have in that area (should have paid more attention in anatomy class).

I'll be home recovering and ringing in the new year (just how I had planned...um, no).  Then back for follow-ups, pathology readings and talking about my chemo plan.

I am nervous about developing lymphadema in that area since the nodes will be gone and I'm bummed thinking about a spring without the energy that I want to do the things I want. My plan is to muscle through and just keep on keeping on.

I hope you had a great Christmas and have a wonderful new year planned with those you love.

An Outlier

I'm an outlier.
At least that's what the oncologist told me.

A couple of weeks ago I decided to call me surgeon about an annoying spot of tissue that I noticed around the scar of my original lymph node biopsy.  I've been running and working out more and the sleeveless workout shirts kept pressing on the spot, forcing me to not forget it.  I assumed it was some scar tissue from the original surgeries or fatty necrosis.  I called and got in that day on a cancellation. Dr. Cross did an ultrasound and said that he didn't like how it looked and did a needle biopsy.  He called two days later to tell me that is was positive.  Argh.  Over the next week, I had an MRI and PET scan.  The MRI showed that the spot in question was a lymph node, so the cancer is systemic and needs to be treated such.  PET scan came back clear (so thankful!) except for the node area in question.  We met with the oncologist Friday and he was surprised.  He said I was an outlier and that my situation was a 1 in 100 occurrence.  I should have purchased a lottery ticket.
So, I have a plan:
-  Immediately start hormone blockers
-  Schedule an axillary dissection at the beginning of January to remove the set of nodes.
-  Start four months of chemo after the surgery
-  Visit with the radiation folks about benefits.
-  Stay on hormone blockers for at least five years

So, I thought I had finished the cancer journey and just had to complain about hot flashes and all the fun things that come with menopause, but this will be another leg of the journey to get cancer-free.

I'm not thrilled, but am feeling confident about it.  My thoughts went to some very dark places for a few days, but the prognosis is good and I'm healthy, strong and snarky.  I can do this.

Thank you all for following along.  There have already been some absurd and funny situations that I'll share later.

Enjoy life, hold the ones you love, be kind and touch yourself often.  ;)