Last week was my consultation with the reconstruction surgeon. He said that everything looked good and that we should not do any more fillings (woot woot). We talked about finished size and what I could expect. The surgeon dug through the drawer and brought out multiple implants in various sizes. Little did I know that the implants come in various shapes. For me, we have chosen the implants with more projection. They aren't as wide and flat as the standard implant. They should fit my frame better and keep me from having big side boobs (because that look was so 2012). When we left the office, I told Walter that I shouldn't stress out too much about the decision because I'll have to have the implants replaced in 10-15 years. So, I'll have nice projection for the rest of my thirties and into my forties and then I can choose a different look for my fifties...maybe they will have implants in the shape of pyramids or dollar signs (who is John Gault) by that time.
My next round of surgeries has been scheduled. I'm doing both the implant exchange and full hysterectomy and oopherectomy at the same time so I only have to go under one more time. The gynecologist is saying that I should expect 4-6 weeks recovery time, but I'm not accepting that. I'm going to shoot for 2.5 weeks. I'm nervous about how my body and mind is going to react to having 80% of my estrogen cut off in one fell swoop. I'm more nervous about this than I was the mastectomy. I know my body and I trust what it tells me. Systemically, I have been a pretty healthy person and have known when things aren't quite right. I hope that I will be able to find this balance again and be able to trust my body. I also hope that I don't do anything drastic that causes irreparable damage to any of my relationships due to crazy hormone swings. Maybe everyone can cut me a little slack for a couple of months.
Again, if you need me for any high-emotional situations this summer, I'll be for hire!
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